The Inevitability of It All
Why is it that no matter how long we brace for an inevitable outcome the inevitability still makes us squirm? There are a few things that fall into this category – death is arguably the most impactful. But today that title goes to preschool.
I know. I know I just linked preschool to death, but please indulge me during my fit of parental trepidation.
Come January 7, Amir will begin preschool. This has been the expectation since September, when Ben and I were busting at the seams to get our 2-year-old better “socialized” to kids his age. We were ready. So ready that we groaned after learning our chosen preschool had a three-month-long wait list, at minimum. And then, subconsciously reassured that nothing was changing, I’m sure, we filed away the inevitability for another day.
When I nonchalantly called the preschool some days ago to check on Amir’s enrollment status, I was expecting to hear the voice on the other end tell me that we’d have to wait a while longer before enrolling my kid. At which point my plan was to feign disappointment. This denial was my armor. But imagine my true disappointment after hearing that Amir could start school full time in January.
Chink. In. Armor.
Panic-stricken, I began negotiating: You know, we’d rather start him off part-time, a few days a week, a few hours a day to make the transition easier on him. I don’t want this change to be upsetting.
There’s a reason I linked preschool to death. Because, thus far, I’ve found myself experiencing the early stages of grief. Even though we are still weeks away from January, what was once months is now weeks and these weeks will soon dwindle to days and hours. And that inevitability is terrifying.